Why?

40 days from departure and I still feel that I am not ready for it. I did a mental tally, all the essential items like winterwear, toileteries, daily necessities, textbooks and stationery have already been packed. So what's lacking? Is it something tangible that I can buy off the shelf? Perhaps not. It's my heart I believe. I'm not prepared to leave my family and friends for such a long time. Being a family-oriented person, it is definitely not an easy feat to stay away from home for so many years...

However, I don't really have a choice now. Since all of them have placed so much faith and confidence in me, I must work hard to make them really proud of me. This time round, I finally understand what it means to miss someone so dearly and fondly. I've learnt to cherish all my loved ones and to keep them close to my heart even when I'm physically away. There are so many things I want to tell them before I leave, which is why I need to start writing letters for me to let them know that I may not be very expressive at home, but deep inside, I'm very grateful for everything they have done for me. I've friends who have parents that refuse to pay for their education here, let alone studying overseas. But look at my parents, how gracious and big-hearted they are! There's no word to describe how much I'm indebted to them. For the unconditional love they've showered on me over the years, I'll always remember in my heart and I'll repay their kindness by being their filial son and taking good care of them when they're old.

People say that "absence makes the heart grow fonder", I must agree because when I'm back this Nov, I'll talk a lot to my parents, share my wonderful experiences and spend more time with them.

40 days left. Like a rainbow, it comes and leaves so hurridly. You might find comfort in the sheer number of days left right now but when the moment finally comes, you feel crushed and worried because you know that you won't get to see your homeland, friends and family for another year.

Please give me more time to do all the things I've wanted to do. Please...